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Lapsed anthropologist-turned-burlesque performer and post-modern punk housewife/homesteader living in the beautiful Pacific Northwest with a hunky husband, gorgeous daughter, adorable corgi, fluffy rabbit, and three clucking fabulous chickens.

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Pinterest and the "Anti-Feminist" Movement

I've stumbled across quite a few pins on Pinterest labeled "anti-feminist", pictures of women in aprons captioned "This is what an anti-feminist looks like. Fear us."

I don't get it. Feminism is wanting equal rights. Why wouldn't you want that?

Some of the pins conflate misandry with feminism. MISANDRY IS NOT FEMINISM. Double-standards which skew in the favor of women is also not feminism. 

The fact that more men work in dangerous jobs is part of patriarchy, feminists don't want those jobs to be exclusively male. When I was in the military, women still weren't allowed in combat zones. Patriarchal bullshit. 

I want equal pay for women because when my husband retires from the military, he wants to be a stay-at-home dad. I think that's fantastic, and I fully support him. I am more than willing to be the primary breadwinner and support us so that he can stay home and homeschool the kids. But if I'm making 23% less than my male coworkers for doing the exact same job, that affects my entire household. It's not just a "women's issue", it's a human issue. He shouldn't have to work outside the home to make up the difference in my salary if he wants to stay at home. I shouldn't have to work two jobs to make the same a man makes at one. It's about choice. For everyone.

This? Not feminism.

It is never okay to strike anyone, your spouse or otherwise. Physical violence is the last refuge of the cowardly and insecure, regardless of what genitalia they possess.

I know men who have been victims of domestic abuse. Feminism is not saying that men do not suffer from domestic abuse. Real feminists(men and women) work towards making it easier to report domestic abuse, and work toward removing the social stigma of doing so, so that everyone can benefit. Female-on-male violence is horrifically under-reported, because of the extreme stigma against being beaten "by a girl". Because girls are weak and men should be able to dominate them, not get hit by them. Again, patriarchal bullshit. Domestic violence is about control, physical and psychological, and women are just as capable of men of hurting their partners.

Feminism wants equality. That means accepting that women can be bad. Just look at Margaret Thatcher. Part of what feminism is trying to accomplish is removing women from this pedestal of "can-do-no-wrong", dispelling the myth that it's okay for a women to slap a man, that women are naturally in need of protection. A pedestal is just as much a cage as any other small space.

If misandristic bullshit shows up in your Google feed when you search "feminism", that does not mean that those views are actually held by feminists. There will always be sexist assholes out there, of every gender, but actual feminism works towards equality. That's it.

I am a baking, sewing, knitting, crafting, stay-at-home wife and mother, and I am a feminist.
I do not hate men. My husband is awesome, my guy friends are super-rad. I do not walk down the street and assume every man I see is a sexist rapist-in-waiting. I hold doors open for others, and I've had doors held open for me. That's just being polite. Sometimes I make my husband a sandwich. Sometimes he makes me one.

I'll leave you with this talk by Tony Porter, in which he explains what the "man box" is, and why feminism helps men as much as it does women.


  1. Absolutely. This kind of anti-feminist bullshit makes me mad, but actually more sad than anything. It stems so much ignorance and ironically patriarchy. They are people who have just completely misunderstood feminism and are lashing out without any logic behind their points.

    And the funny thing is you can only have the choice to reject feminism and dismiss it vocally on the internet because of all feminism has given you! Like living in a world where women go to school, learn to read and write and are taught that you can give your opinion and argue and have a say. *sigh*

    1. Exactly. Domesticity isn't anti-feminist. Neither is motherhood. Traditionally feminine things are not inherently anti-feminist, it's the being forced to adhere to strict gender rules against your will that is anti-feminist. It's all about choice.

  2. Thank you SO much for this post.

    1. Thank you for reading! I'm glad there are others who understand what I'm trying to say.

  3. I completely agree, well written!


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