About Me

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Lapsed anthropologist-turned-burlesque performer and post-modern punk housewife/homesteader living in the beautiful Pacific Northwest with a hunky husband, gorgeous daughter, adorable corgi, fluffy rabbit, and three clucking fabulous chickens.

Thursday, December 19, 2013

The Results Are In!

Cheryll Kelly has won my home-canned apple pie filling in last week's online auction!
Congratulations, Cheryll!

I've put a pretty package together for you, and you should be receiving your delicious treat next week.
Thanks for bidding, and I hope you enjoy it!

Like the tags, label, and recipe card? You can get the templates for free from Lia Griffith!
They add a nice touch to those last-minute gifts. Not that I would know anything about that...

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Virtual Bake Sale!!!

My friend Alice, who blogs at A Mama, Baby, and Sharpei in the Kitchen, is hosting a virtual bake sale today! Proceeds go to help her friend's family with medical expenses. You can get amazing baked goods, kitchenware, and cookbooks, and make a family's holiday season brighter at the same time!

The sale ends tonight at 9pm PST, so get your bids in while you can!

I donated a jar of my homemade, home-canned apple pie filling, made from apples I picked out at Greenbluff. It's sweet and delicious, and will make one 9-inch pie, and is also amazing on pancakes and ice cream.

Bid here on my apple pie filling!

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Adventure Time!

Did you all have a lovely Thanksgiving, if you were in a country that celebrates it?
We got a surprise...

Mr. Bear got orders to Lakenheath, England!

So, basically, we have 7-8 months to get everything in order, and then we are moving across the pond, so to speak. Juniper will be about a year old(I'm hoping we'll still be here on her birthday so we can celebrate with everyone). We're very excited, it was our top choice on our "Dream Sheet" for postings. We expect to be there about 4 years, and oh, the traveling!

I haven't been to England since 2009, there's so much I didn't get to do that was on my list. I'm really looking forward to having years there. Junebug will be about five when we return to the U.S., so I'm hoping she'll have some memories of living abroad. And we'll probably have another child while we're there.

We have to get started on Ponyo's vaccinations so we can avoid the quarantine period, she would not handle that well. And we're definitely not going to be able to take Butters with us, which breaks my heart, so I've started looking for a foster home for her. I have several people who have offered to take our hens. Ah, the life of a nomadic homesteader.

My head is swimming! So much to do, to plan, to think!

I foresee a gigantic yard sale in our future.

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Another Sad Day

Mr. Bear and I have been out-of-state, visiting his family, and some dear friends have been living at our place, taking care of the animals in our absence.
Sadly, they informed us Sunday evening, that we had lost Ruth to predation.
She was a good alpha hen. She defended the girls against whatever it was that killed Rosie back in June.

We think a hawk got after Ruth this time. Our friends spotted a large hawk hanging around the yard, up in the cherry tree. Marie's wing was wounded, and she and Ada have been cowering inside the coop, Ada shielding Marie.
So, our flock is down to two. We are very sad, and Mr. Bear plans on building an enclosed run when we return home.
Our two casualties.

I don't expect we'll be adding to the flock anytime soon. We're probably going to be moving in the coming months, and I'm not sure whether or not we'll be able to keep chickens where we end up.
Our hens are pets, and we mourn them, though we went into this knowing that chickens are not long-lived, and succumb to disease and predation with alarming regularity. It's the price paid for loving an animal.

Friday, November 1, 2013

Rhinestones, Sequins, and Pasties...Oh My!

It's been go go go here at Ft. McAwesome.
Cabaret Noir is tomorrow night, and I have been doing little else besides setting rhinestones, sewing sequins, and knitting pasties!

I tried out Brittany Wilson's Burlesque Fan Pasties:

S/M/L, I think the M size will fit me just fine.
Still need to add feathers.

I also took a plain red slip and added rhinestones and sequins until it became something special. You should see this baby under the stage lights, it dazzles!

I got to preview some of the other acts at rehearsal this week, and they are phenomenal!

I'm in a few acts, but my main act is an homage to American Horror Story: Asylum.
Specifically, a certain scene from the episode "The Name Game".

I am also the luckiest burlesque dancer alive, my amazing husband hand made me a pair of black ostrich feather fans! He even cut the glitter acrylic staves himself! I can't wait to take them out for a spin on Saturday!

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

525,600 Minutes

A lot has changed in the past year. On October 15th, 2012, our four hens hatched! Happy Birthday, girls!

We continue to miss Rosie, and Sally and Hennie, the other two RIRs who were taken from us by the same predator after having them for only a few weeks. I never even got the chance to introduce them on the blog.

October 15th was also the day we conceived Juniper, though we didn't know it. Last year on November 2nd, I performed in a Halloween Show with my burlesque troop, unaware that I was already pregnant!

 There's an Iron Baby in there!
This show was exhausting to prepare for, now I know why!

We found out we were expecting two days later, but didn't announce it until Thanksgiving.

In the months that followed we prepped the nursery...

Made jokes about shotgun weddings...

I had fun dressing my growing belly.

And grow it did!

We spent our last few months as a childless couple enjoying our friends.
Mr. Bear stood up as the Best Man at the wedding of the friends who introduced us, while I played the processional.

In my toast, I thanked them for helping me create my family, and for being a part of it.

Then we celebrated with a Burlesque Show!

Because that's how we roll.

For our anniversary, we took one last weekend to really indulge ourselves and relax.

Ponyo got a bath in preparation for meeting the baby.

And on July 4th, we enjoyed the summer sun with friends.

Juniper must have been excited by the boat ride and fireworks, because I went in to labor in the wee hours of the morning, and she made her debut on July 5th!

So here we are, one year on, prepping for another show, but with our lives completely and wonderfully changed forever.
Good family, good friends, a good life.

Saturday, October 5, 2013

Break Out the Needles!

After having abstained from knitting for the duration of my pregnancy(focusing on something that detailed triggered my nausea), I seem to be making up for lost time! I have completed three sweaters for Juniper in the past week!

First up is the Retro Baby Smock, which I knit out of two balls of Liberty Wool that I bought on our honeymoon last year. I love the colors and the stripes, it's perfect for Fall. 

 She's swimming in it, because it's the 6-month size. I knit another one in the 3-month size with long sleeves that I'll post later this week. I can't believe she's three months old! Today! Where did all that time go?

 I finished the cardigan with buttons I brought back from China.

June seemed to quite like it, even though it's so big!

I've also finished a lovely owl-themed cardigan that I'm excited to share! So much cozy goodness flying off my needles lately!

You know what else is awesome? My FAVORITE knitting designer, Stephanie Dosen of Tiny Owl Knits, has a new pattern out called...Juniper Wishing Scarf! So timely and perfect. You should check out her new book, Woodland Knits. I have so many of her patterns, I wear my Parseltongue hat nearly every day. (No, I was not paid to shill her designs, they're just that awesome!)

Thursday, October 3, 2013

This is the first day of my life...

At 3:00am on July 5th, I rolled toward my sleepy husband and said "Mr. Bear?"
"Hmm?" came the drowsy reply.
"I think I'm having contraction contractions..."
Instant alertness. "Contraction contractions like we're gonna have a baby?"
"Contraction contractions like we're gonna have a baby."

We agreed I should call my doula, who was out of state with her family. I explained that I thought I was in labor, and that I was having contractions that lasted about a minute and they felt fairly close together, though I hadn't been timing them.
"You sound pretty lucid to me," she said. "I doubt they're really contractions, try to get some sleep and call me back in the morning."
I laid back down and tried to fall asleep, but they kept coming, and kept hurting. I starting tracking them with an app on my iPhone, and after about eight(including one particularly painful one that had me gasping), Mr. Bear asked if I just wanted to go to the hospital. I did.

We grabbed the bag he had packed with everything we thought we'd need, based on research and helpful friends, said goodbye to the dog, and piled into the car. At the ER, a stray puppy tried to follow us in to the hospital from outside, smacking into the automatic glass doors. He seemed friendly and had a collar, I hoped someone would find his person. By this time it was 4am and I'd had 18 contractions.

The triage nurse on call checked my blood pressure multiple times and took a urine sample. After about half an hour, she said "Your contractions aren't quite as regular as we usually like, but you have several symptoms of preeclampsia, so I don't think you're going back home at this point."

I was taken to my birthing suite and made to understand that no, I would not be laboring in the big jacuzzi tub or walking the halls or sitting on a balance ball or delivering squatting down. I would be in the hospital bed and I would be lying down. My midwife arrived and explained to me that she wanted to break my waters, that delivering was the only way to lower my high blood pressure. Breaking the waters was the most painful part for me, and Mr. Bear had tears in his eyes watching how much pain I was in. There was meconium in my amniotic fluid.

I received an IV and some lovely pain killers which dulled the pain but made me loopy in a way I didn't like. My mother, grandmother, and close friend came to keep me company, after Mr. Bear sent out the mass text telling everyone I had been admitted to the maternity ward. My mother and friend both worked on little felt figures they were making for Juniper's mobile. 

After laboring a few hours, I spoke to the anesthesiologist about getting an epidural. She said she's been placing epidurals for nine years and explained the procedure to me. When it came time, I barely felt a prick on my back. The epidural numbed my legs, but not completely, and I couldn't feel the contractions in my abdomen, which made me much more comfortable. Everyone except Mr. Bear left, so that I could try to sleep. Periodically someone would come in to check my dilation. I stalled out at 5cm and they wanted to give me pitocin.

I had been pretty adamant about not getting pitocin, Mr. Bear and I had talked it over, and I was concerned about the increased risk of needing a cesarean. Ultimately, I was swayed by my midwife explaining that my blood pressure was still high, and they really needed to get the baby out sooner rather than later, for both our safety. I let them push the pitocin, which made me vomit, but it started things moving. Eventually I could feel the contractions in my lower back, and they were coming fast and long. 
The midwife returned and said it was showtime.

I was instructed to push through the next contraction, my knees pulled up to my chest. I wasn't emotionally ready, but there was no turning back. I pushed hard, three times, and felt something give. Mr. Bear was holding my hand and trying to help me keep my knees pulled up, while the midwife said one more contraction and we'd have a baby. I pushed three more times with the next contraction, and there was a feeling of something large and slippery squeezing out. I asked Mr. Bear if it had happened, and he said yes. I let them take the baby while my midwife started stitching me up. 
It was 3:36 in the afternoon.

Mr. Bear came over to me, crying, saying "She's so so so beautiful!" 
They held her up from across the room, she was pink and awake and alert, bright dark eyes open, a head of thick black hair. Oh my god...
We heard a bell chime, the one that rings throughout the hospital to announce the birth of a new baby.
"Is that for us?"
"Oh, no, you'll get to ring the bell yourself!"

I have no idea how many stitches I needed, only that it was a lot. Twice, a nurse had to be sent to get more sutures. There was a lot of blood, and while holding my baby didn't completely distract me from it, she certainly helped. I held her to my breast and she latched on, everyone cleared out and it was just the three of us. Finally, I gave Mr. Bear the go-ahead to let my family in the waiting room know to come back. Kate came in first, smiling and cooing over Juniper. After a few minutes my mother came in, and immediately burst into floods of tears at the sight of her. "She's perfect!"
My grandmother was more composed.

Eventually they wheeled me in the bed(I still couldn't feel my legs) to the post-partum suite, and Mr. Bear got to ring the bell, announcing Junebug's arrival in the world. We settled into the room, and doctors and nurses cycled in and out, giving Juniper all her tests, bringing me water. We received some visitors, some who brought Mr. Bear food, and took some naps. By the evening, it was just us left, and we watched her sleep in the incubator by my bed. Mr. Bear bought us cinnamon rolls in the middle of the night when I got hungry. We made note of when 3am came rolling by again, 24 hours since my contractions started. 
Best day of my life.

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Cabaret Noir, coming November 2nd!

Rouge your knees, roll your stockings down, and get ready for a dark and smoky show!
The guys and dolls of Pasties and Paddles are back with a speakeasy-themed Halloween cabaret and burlesque show. Expect high-energy group numbers, sultry solos, homages to your favorite horror stories(American and otherwise), and more garter stockings than you can imagine!

Do me a favor, lovelies, and go like my performer page, Knitty van Tassle so you can stay current on my burlesque activities and modelling.

I have a very special act in the works for this show, and I'll give you some clues:
 What do a red finger-wave wig...

 Some glitter acrylic sheeting...

And black tassel pasties have in common?

Sunday, July 14, 2013

And then there were three.

 It's been nothing but radio silence here at Bird Hearts Bear for quite a while now, and that's because we've been gearing up for the arrival of our littlest person. Well, she burst on the scene a week early! The last nine days have been difficult and wonderful, as we muddle our way through learning how to be parents to this tiny little girl. I'll be writing up her birth story soon, but here's some pictures of her very first day to tide you over.

We exist in a state of perpetual bliss.

Juniper Starling, born July 5th. 6lbs 12oz, 19 inches long.

 The two great loves of my life.

 I'd really never held a baby before her.

I hope you're all having a lovely summer(or winter, should you be in the Southern Hemisphere), and I hope you'll excuse my sporadic posting. It's nearly impossible to tear myself away from tiny eyelashes, fingers, toes, and a button nose.

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Little Red Hen

I don't really know how best to begin this post, so I'll jump right into it.

Last week, something(probably a raccoon) killed our Rosie.
We've been setting an animal trap every night since, and have yet to catch anything. Our other three girls are okay, with Ruth being the worst off, having lost quite a few feathers. Ruth has been laying since the attack, though. Marie has laid a couple times, too, while Ada hasn't.

We're pretty devastated. Mr. Bear found Rosie, and had a hard time telling me. I don't know the specifics, as he was keen to spare me the details, and he took care of the aftermath, even though I think that was really hard for him to deal with.

My little flock of three looks so strange.

Neither of us can bring ourselves to finish off Rosie's eggs now that she's gone, but some lovely friends of mine have offered to decorate them with pysanky(the Ukrainian egg-dyeing) and make them into keepsakes, which I think is a lovely idea.

I wrote about Rosie's visit to the vet here, and her subsequent recovery and reintroduction to the flock following her prolapse here.

I know that part of having chickens(or any small livestock, really) is losing them, to disease or predation or accidents, but losing our first girl from our first flock we raised from chicks has been hard on us. We miss her a lot, and we feel guilty for not doing a better job of protecting her.

In the end I have to keep reminding myself that she had a better life with us than most chickens in the world get to experience. 
She was a good hen who gave us good eggs and had a good life and one bad day.

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